


say that again? please?

by gyozas



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 12:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18894226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gyozas/pseuds/gyozas
Summary: kihyun's never been good with words, especially when it comes to "i love you". he's working on it.





	say that again? please?

**Author's Note:**

> hi! yes i'm alive and well ... here we are! i don't really know what this is, word vomit? 
> 
> ah unbeta-ed yet again bc it's 2 am and yes that's all there is to it. must rest for exams..
> 
> reference: most italics are kihyun's thoughts

Compared to Kihyun, Hoseok is much more expressive and open about his love. His love for Kihyun, that is.

Hoseok embraces Kihyun every day before the latter heads to work, never forgetting to say “I love you” before Kihyun steps out the door. When it’s Kihyun’s lunch break, coincidentally at the same time as Hoseok’s, they sit on the patio outside of the cafe Hoseok works at and eat together. Every other minute or so, Hoseok will link his legs with Kihyun’s or play with Kihyun’s fingers. He listens to Kihyun talk about the books he’s been reading, the papers he’s been editing, and he does it so attentively.

“I love you,” Hoseok says again, before they go head back to work. But Hoseok says it so lovingly and endearingly whilst brushing Kihyun’s hair, Kihyun can’t help but try to contain himself in public … feeling shy. At night, when they’re in bed together and Hoseok’s the big spoon (almost all the time), he whispers the same three words into Kihyun’s hair. Hoseok says it so easily and Kihyun’s heart flutters every time.

It’s not like Kihyun’s complaining, how could he? Hoseok’s so charming and kind, always swooping Kihyun off his feet; it’d be difficult not to feel something (love) for Hoseok. Although, there are times when Kihyun does feel just a bit … _guilty_ … for not saying it back. Not that it’s hard or anything, Kihyun just doesn’t know why he can’t say it back. If he could, he would. Some sort of complex he has, Kihyun doesn’t understand the psychology behind it. At least he hopes he’s not the only one who’s _like this_.

(Kihyun brought this up once, while they were eating dinner at Hoseok’s place. Hoseok was gentle and reassuring, his hand resting over Kihyun’s at once. “I don’t expect anything out of you, Kihyun,” Hoseok affirmed, “when you’re ready, I’m ready.”

“Why did I not hear that … appropriately?” Kihyun scoffed.

“ _Unbelievable_ how your mind can be in the gutter while we’re having a heartfelt conversation,” Hoseok sighed. Followed by a stupid chuckle.

Then they went back to eating Chinese takeout, linking their feet under the table, and that was that.)

Kihyun does try to say “I love you” back … in a subtle, indirect kind of way.

Every time the two are on little dates or just doing things together, the opportunities to prove Kihyun’s feelings aren’t wasted. When it’s laundry day and the two walk over to the laundromat, Kihyun helps Hoseok wash and fold his laundry. It’s a process that Hoseok’s is fascinated by … it’s like he’s 5.

“Like this, see?” Kihyun would say, making neat stacks of Hoseok’s clothing. And Kihyun is never mean about it. Hoseok smiles gleefully and pecks Kihyun’s cheek. “I see.”

At the movies, Kihyun scoots extra close to Hoseok to hold the latter’s hand. Oh, and he always takes notice of Hoseok’s reactions and expressions throughout the screening. Hoseok likes to give reviews of the films and Kihyun listens to them all (note: the reviews are insightful and at times … silly).

The little things count, too. Right?

 

One Saturday, at brunch with Minhyuk, Kihyun seeks some friendly advice. Then again, knowing Minhyuk, will there even be advice?

“I don’t know why I still can’t say it back. Not in public or when we’re at home together. I’m not uncomfortable or anything, is it just my pride?” Kihyun exhales. He spins the straw from his iced tea, feeling a little hopeless.

“It probably is your pride,” Minhyuk responds, taking a bite out of his French toast, “I’ve never heard of having too much pride to say I love you …. maybe you just don’t like or want the vulnerability that comes with it.”

“Probably. I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I’m trying to come up with ways to say it back. But I don’t want to resort to some sort of grand romantic gesture. That’s just too much,” Kihyun frowns, the disapproval clear in his eyes.

“What if comes out unexpectedly? Like out of nowhere?” Minhyuk asks.

“Come on, Minhyuk. Is that allowed?” Kihyun deadpans.

“Well, it could be allowed? You know, like you could be the exception?” The two shrug their shoulders, and go back to eating.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Minhyuk jumps out of his seat. “I got it!”

“What? What is it? Spit it out! Swallow your food, first! ” Kihyun yelps, taken aback. Minhyuk swallows and shakes his head, excited.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of this any sooner,” Minhyuk murmurs, dumbfounded. “Anyway, here. Just give me a minute or two. Or five. I don’t know just be quiet while I expertly explain everything as a love guru. Thank you.”

“Love languages! Hoseok’s love language is different from yours. You’re looking at me like I’m stupid, but trust me. I read about this on Tumblr and discussed this with my coworkers at the senior center. Then I took a quiz on what mine is. We’ll talk about that later. Just. There are five love languages and they are words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, gift-giving, and physical touch.”

“You’re always telling me about how Hoseok says the nicest things and how he gives you so much of himself and his time. The sweetest compliments, an active-listener, just always knows what to say. Reads the stuff that you edit, comments on it, he’s really engaging. Also, he’s a charmer and oh so smooth, which is why you’re constantly fawning over him. Stop that thing with your eyebrows, you know I’m right. My point is, words come easier to him than they do to you. That’s why he says I love you so easily.”

“And you, my friend. Think about it. You’re always helping him out, doing things for him and with him. Like the laundry or spring-cleaning every other month, which is absurd because it’s called spring-cleaning. You literally ran up to his apartment, on the third floor at six am, just to get him ready for his job interview at nine. Plus, you always fix his tie for every dinner party at your workplace. You get the point. Your love language is acts of service.”

Kihyun takes a deep breath, and exhales. A massive weight taken off his shoulders. “Okay, self-acclaimed expert love guru, you took three and a half minutes. But. Yeah. Great, I get it. This is good. Really good. Thank you. Ugh, thank you so much. God,” Kihyun rambles.

“Yes, I know I’m God,” Minhyuk proclaims. He obnoxiously laughs not two seconds later.

“And I hate you again. Come on, let’s go to the grocery store. I told Hoseok we’re having kimchi tortellini at my place ,” Kihyun says. He stands up, cleaning after himself.

“What even is a kimchi tortellini?” Minhyuk asks, following Kihyun.

“I don’t know, I made it up on my way to work when he called me,” Kihyun answers.

(Dinner ended up being pretty good. Hoseok complimented the dish like it meant everything, and that was enough reaffirmation for Kihyun’s unprepared cooking.)

 

Kihyun figures that he should at least try to practice saying compliments and similar things to Hoseok, just so he can prepare himself for when he does say “I love you”.

It’s been embarrassing.

Hoseok stayed over at Kihyun’s for the weekend. While Hoseok was brushing his teeth, Kihyun decided it wouldn’t be so bad to say something nice. “Hoseok!” Kihyun abruptly called, standing next to the said man in the bathroom. Hoseok jumps and turns around swiftly, eyes widened and mid-brushing. “I just wanted to say how much I … how much I ,” Kihyun started and next thing he knows, “How much I love your arms! They’re so big and they come in bulk. And I like that!” Kihyun mentally slapped himself, _Guess he’s the produce section at Albertson’s now. Nice going._

Hoseok laughed, an incoherent sound through the toothpaste. When he finished freshening up, Hoseok teased, “Thanks Kihyun, I like how my arms come in bulk, too. Just for you, yeah?”

Another time, during lunch break, Kihyun tried again. This time he was planning on saying something nice about Hoseok’s clothes or his hair. Or maybe just spending time together like this. A simple thank you would’ve sufficed. But no, Kihyun decided to go for the hair. “Your pink hair is so vibrant. It’s like that one Starbucks drink.”

“Thank you?” Hoseok responded, confusion all over his face. He giggled right after, “You’re so cute, Kihyun. I love you!”

 _There he goes again_ , Kihyun thought, _How does he do it? Why is this so hard? Why can’t I be natural and cool and calm and normal about this? Where am I going wrong??_

And then, it was the jeans. The worst. Hoseok wears jeans a lot, it’s like his second skin. All jeans look good on him because they just do. Kihyun was driving him and Hoseok to the movie theatre. They were going to see John Wick 3. At a red stoplight, Kihyun glanced over at Hoseok, who was looking at the rips in his jeans. “Jeans, am I right?” Kihyun said. _Where is this going, what have I done?_

In response, Hoseok chuckled, “You’re not even wearing jeans.” He pointed at Kihyun’s joggers. Then the traffic light turned green. “I meant, you look good. You always do, of course. I know that for a fact, you know. Just-- these jeans look nice on you,” Kihyun babbled, overly embarrassed.

“Thank you, I’m glad you like them,” Hoseok smiled. _Finally, I did it. Whew. I did it_ , Kihyun relaxed. Though, in a quick second, Hoseok began to look concerned. “Is everything alright, Kihyun? You seem stressed lately.”

Kihyun parked his car and laughed nervously. “Stressed? It’s just work, there’s been a lot going on at the writing company lately. Manuscripts, editing, and everything.” He prayed Hoseok didn’t suspect anything else. He wouldn’t right? They love each other and stuff.

“You work too hard, make sure you take breaks every now and then, okay?” Hoseok pouted. Always. He just always knows what to say and it makes Kihyun love him more and more. _Say it! Just say it !!!_ The little voice in his head was _pushing_ him … but Kihyun couldn’t.

“Thank you, Hoseok. I appreciate you … so much,” Kihyun sighed, wholeheartedly. There was this twinkle in Hoseok’s eyes, and it meant so much to see him light up just like that. “Now, let’s go enjoy this movie.”

(John Wick 3 was fantastic, 10/10.)

 

Kihyun’s work has been piling and piling, so his lunch breaks are getting shorter. Nevertheless, he makes sure he spends a bit of it with Hoseok. By calling. “Sorry for all this, there’s just a lot of paperwork to get through. We’ll eat lunch together again after this week is over,” Kihyun apologizes.

“Don’t be sorry, Kihyun. You have a big job, I understand. Besides, I like this. If I don’t get to see you, at least I get to hear you. You know … how I like your voice and everything? Yeah,” Hoseok reassures, and Kihyun can hear the former’s smile.

“You’re so smooth, stop it. I’m trying to be professional and compromise with you,” Kihyun chides. He’s blushing, but Hoseok doesn’t have to know that.

Hoseok laughs, and it makes Kihyun’s heart jump. “I’m sorry, good businessman. I’ll make sure to keep my end of the contract … you keep up the good work, okay?”

“Goodbye Hoseok,” Kihyun weakly groans, trying to stop his snickering.

“You can’t resist my deadly charms,” Hoseok bites, “I love you!” And then Hoseok hangs up.

Kihyun throws his head in his hands. Hoseok’s too much and Kihyun loves it. _What am I going to do?_

 

Another brunch, another love-guru session … as Minhyuk likes to call it. Kihyun tells him about his failed attempts and of course, Minhyuk has to lose it. His best friend laughs his ass off, and that’s …. Helpful.

“Oh my god, Kihyun,” Minhyuk wheezes, wiping a tear, “I love that you’re trying but you did not get my memo. Oh my god.”

“What?” cries Kihyun, “What did I miss? Will you shut up and stop laughing? Or else I’m going to start laughing at my own stupidity and I don’t need that right now.”

Minhyuk kicks Kihyun’s shoe and makes sure he gets the last laugh, “You are stupid. That’s on you.”

Kihyun crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows, “Your memo, please. Or else no more wine coupons,”

Gasping, Minhyuk wails, “I know I’m a demon, but you. You’re the worst of them all …. an unkind human being!

“I’m waiting.”

“I mean, it’s so obvious. You don’t have to be so hard on yourself, just let it come naturally. You look at love differently, remember? Acts of service? You’ll say it when it feels right. You backed out a couple times, but that’s because you were being a coward. It happens. It’s important to return your love, but I’m sure Hoseok already knows how much you love him. You don’t have to tell him, he just knows. You even said that he said he doesn’t expect anything out of you in your relationship. You’ve been together for like a little over two years. It’s _okay_ , Kihyun.”

And it’s like the skies have cleared.

Kihyun nods slowly, “Got it. Just take it easy. Okay, I will.” He leaves Minhyuk’s wine coupons on the table and slides out of his chair. Kihyun strides back to his car, surely and confidently.

Minhyuk rests his chin on his palm. “That one. Took him some time. Then again, I can’t really say anything because … I was in the same boat. I love Hyunwoo, love that guy. No wait, I need to pay? We were supposed to split the bill!”

 

The rest of the week goes by quickly. Kihyun continues working inside his office, cooped up in the place almost like a hermit. But Kihyun’s an efficient worker and the gigantic workload lessens day by day. He’s hoping his efforts will especially show in this month’s paycheck. Hoseok calls every now and then, it’s really sweet and lifts Kihyun’s spirits a lot. It’s cute because Hoseok says he isn’t afraid of getting caught but then he does and he hangs up at once. Then Hoseok texts, “Sorry about that! Boss is watching me more often. Keep up the good work !! Ily heart emoji x5”. So, work isn’t all that bad. Though, Kihyun’s back is almost done for.

Right when Kihyun steps into his car, he remembers, _Movie night at Hoseok’s! Tomorrow!!_ And everything is alright. Because it’s Hoseok and Kihyun loves him.

It’s Saturday, which means movie night. Movie night usually takes place at the theatre, but Hoseok suggested it be at his apartment this time for Kihyun to relax. He’s just thoughtful like that. Kihyun called dibs on what they’re watching, _The Davinci Code_.

Kihyun steps out of the kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn in his hands. He sets the bowl on the coffee table and watches Hoseok pop in the DVD. He thinks about Hoseok and the way Hoseok is just made out of pure love and everything that comes with it. Hoseok’s the premium package with all the benefits.  
Well … Kihyun was never really good with his words. (Pretty ironic considering how he’s an editor).

But Kihyun does step towards Hoseok, quietly. He wraps his arms around Hoseok’s waist and comfortably eases into the expanse of the latter’s broad back. “Thank you,” Kihyun whispers, “Thank you for this.”

“It’s no problem, Kihyun, you need this. I’m glad to be here for you, I’m always here for you,” Hoseok responds. Kihyun can feel the vibrations in Hoseok’s voice; they’re warm and soothing.

“I love you,” Kihyun says, his arms holding Hoseok’s waist a little tighter. His heart beats a little faster.

“Say that again? Please?” Hoseok’s voice is so soft, so sweet, and so gentle.

“I love you,” Kihyun repeats, louder and louder, “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Hoseok turns around and the widest grin, the stupidest one of them all, the one where all of your teeth are showing. His eyes smile, too. His cheeks are full. Hoseok’s voice is light and airy and full of immense joy as he says the same three words back, “I love you!”

Kihyun laughs silently, feeling a little giddy. It feels so good to say it back. So right. He embraces Hoseok once more and Hoseok does the same. He lovingly sighs into Hoseok’s chest, “I like this. I like saying it to you.”

“I like it, too.” And hearing that means so much.

“Now,” Kihyun demands, “the movie.”

Hoseok breathily laughs, letting out a quiet “okay”, and pulls Kihyun to the couch. They cuddle each other as Hoseok presses play on the remote and all is right in this small world of theirs.

 

 

Somewhere in the middle of the movie, quietly chewing on a piece of popcorn, Hoseok asks, “Can you say it again?” A cheeky smile stretched across his face.

Kihyun throws popcorn at Hoseok’s face and quickly says, “I love you. Now be quiet, this is the good part.”

**Author's Note:**

> if you got to here, you're truly a real one


End file.
